illu-moon-ation: the full moon illuminates everything, in the sky, on the ground, in our surroundings — but also, everything in our lives, our emotions, and our bodies. Welcome to this monthly series where we illuminate all the things.
Happy Full Moon! I sat outside in the sun the other day, in nothing but my Skims thong, big pregnant belly, and new big boobies and let me tell you, I felt alive. Combine this with the time change, and it really does feel like I’m coming out of a hibernation. I’ve been trying to feel into what it is I want to share with you this full moon, and I keep coming back to what
recently shared on her stories (she’s one of my favorites to follow on Instagram). Her words reminded me that Spring doesn't always feel glorious and exciting. Sometimes, coming out of your Winter takes time — and a lot of effort — and that’s okay. Buds don’t bloom until they’re ready. They each have their own timeline. And so do you. Go slow. Be gentle with yourself. And go sit in some sun beams. Her light heals us as much as the moon does. This Spring season, open your windows, go sit outside, and allow the light in — physically and spiritually.Journal questions to ruminate on + playlist to set the vibe are down below, sandwiched between mostly unserious stuff. It was really fun creating this for you, and I hope you enjoy it!
INTERNET HUGS,
Alex
*ALL* THE FEELS (links, thoughts and feelings)
Forever Spice-Girling — My friends came over to make me dinner for my birthday, and naturally, the Spice Girls came on. My toddler loved each song. And in a kitchen full of girls dancing, she pointed to her dad and asked, “Papa, are you a Spicey Girl, too?” — “Duh,” he responded.
Cringing at my own voice — For a gal who one day wants to launch her own podcast (sorry I’ve been saying this for five years lol), I sure hate the sound of my own voice. But when my sweet friends asked me to be a guest on their podcast, I couldn’t say no! Though I was in the depths of pregnancy brain, I had such a blast. You can listen to it here.
Glowing — The hippies were right. Castor oil and frankincense oil (this is the one I use) are a dream for silky soft skin.
Nosy — I will forever be curious about people’s homes, and I’m utterly obsessed with small living. Loved this tour of a Japanese 613 square foot family home. And this Dutch couple’s 516 sq ft home.
Heart reflecting — If Gabor Maté has no fans, I’m dead. His response to a woman expressing “being petrified” about becoming a mother had me stunned. “You’re not petrified of the future, you’re petrified of the past,” he told her. And then asked, “How old were you when your mother and father took on the job of getting to know themselves, so as not to pass on their traumas to you?” She responded, “I'm 34, and I think they may be starting now.” He then asked, “What would it have meant for you, if your mother asked the same question you just asked me before you were born?” OOF. Brb. My heart is processing these questions.
Brain processing — I mention this Substack about AI and our culture down below under ‘Substack Shoutout,’ but I need to share that this is one of the best newsletters I’ve read in a while. I’m still thinking about it.
Ready to rage — yet another way the term “misinformation” is used to discredit women’s experiences. More to come on this topic.
Devouring — If you are lucky enough to stumble across Honey Mama’s Cherry Hazelnut limited edition cocoa truffle bar, buy as many as you can. Did I spend $82 on some dodgy website for a dozen? Look, the baby wants what the baby wants.
Seeing red — a few days after I birthed my daughter, a mentor of mine told me that when you become a mother, you become a mother to all children. And it explains the grief and rage I feel sometimes. I feel it everytime I watch a video of a mother in Palestine. And I felt it when I read about baby Jailyn. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. (Trigger warning for this hyperlink)
“Fart-Walking” — new hobby unlocked.
Jaw dropping — “So, what is it like to have two porn stars for parents?”
Matriarch vision-boarding — “I hope to be an inspiration to other women. I hope that my life will allow them to also be artists. I want them to know that they can do it too. Just stick to it.” This video of a painter had me utterly inspired. Do I paint? No. Do I have elaborate dreams of owning a studio like this? Yes.
READING IS THE REVOLUTION
(I recently wrote about the importance of reading, and each full moon, I’ll include a snapshot of what I’m reading right now.)
I travel with a heavy carryon, because at a minimum, I won’t leave the house without five books. My husband thinks it’s a problem, but I need options ok? I rarely finish a book in one sitting, instead, I read multiple books at the same time, and I open a particular one when inspiration strikes (not sure if this is a good or bad thing). Here is a list of the random books on my nightstand right now. I’m thinking of starting a monthly series called, “I Read Parenting Books So You Don’t Have To” — let me know in the comments if this would be interesting to you. Or maybe a book club of sorts?
YOUR WORDS, AMPLIFIED
"I'm determined to not mess with my face. It's mine. And that feels like something worth fighting for." — Margaret, on We’re The Almond Moms Of Anti-Aging
“Social media and internet scrolling has maybe made me feel more ‘informed’ but my critical thinking has taken a huge hit. I find myself relying on comment sections to see if what I think about a video is confirmed in the comments, and when it’s not I’m tempted to change my own thoughts. Books and reading really are an act of rebellion against the dumbing down of myself.” — Claudia, on Reading Is The Revolution
“The mother in me would love to mother another…but with the constraints and the hardships of the patriarchy, I just can’t fathom it.” — Ariel, on The Institution of Motherhood
“I like imagining my rage becoming gardens and trees and rain and sun. I like imagining a world where rage isn't an emotion I need to carry in order to know how I must take the next step.” — Sarah, on What Do Women Hold?
“I had been planning on parting with my collection of books on pregnancy, natural birthing, and midwifery. This piece made me realize that these books, my own little library, hold an incredible amount of wisdom (that is getting harder to find online…) — they are sacred and should be kept for my girls to have when they’re ready…. Books are time capsules at the very least, and sacred keepers of original thinking and wisdom at best.” — Amy, on Reading Is The Revolution
SUBSTACK SHOUTOUTS
It’s Never Over / (the indomitable desire to be thin)The Novelty Famine / Why Nothing Feels Fresh in 2024“...the promise of thinness exists to me as a perpetual taunt, an enemy and a friend all at once, the carrot at the end of the stick and then the stick that turns to beat me over the head.”
What's In Your Prenatal Vitamin? / It's shockingly hard to tell“...the deep-seated urge we have with AI just to see what will happen the more it evolves. I feel that urge in myself. A pull toward the edge of catastrophe. It feels like looking down at a void, hearing a voice call to me in a language I once knew but forgot long ago. That voice echoes every time I use an AI image service, or ask ChatGPT a question, or watch Sora videos. It is the voice of a siren, a voice that says ‘there is no stopping this. Surrender.’ Does that voice call from beyond, or within us? Is it calling us to our own destruction?”
Eminem's Boxes of Notes / ‘the Bruce Lee of loose leaf’“...pregnant people shouldn’t have to play folic acid, vitamin, and heavy metal roulette.”
Take one look at Eminem’s scribbles and his creative process, and it’ll truly blow your mind. LOOK at his lyrics in his notepad. Find the ‘Loose Yourself’ doodles.
TUNE INTO YOUR BODY
Spring Cleaning For Your Soul – listen to it here.
The vibe? You’re cleaning your room. You’re wearing a silk robe. Maybe you just took a gummy. You find your old diaries. You laugh at your old worries. You feel proud you made it through. You find a letter from your ex-boyfriend. You feel nostalgic but happy the past remains in the past. You open the window. You let the sun in as you inhale the fresh air. You feel new, reborn, filled with endless possibilities. You think to yourself: maybe you were as beautiful as the sun all along.
JOURNAL QUESTIONS
How do you feel coming out of hibernation? Rested, sleepy, groggy?
What seeds did you plant while “asleep”?
How are you tending to them? How are you allowing them to grow? Are you watering your soil? Making sure your seeds (and you) are getting enough light?
How do you wish to bloom this Spring?
What kind of support do you need from your community for a full blossom? How can you make sure your needs are communicated and met?
Write down one tangible intention you can commit to until the next full moon cycle that will help grow your seeds.
ALEX <33333333333333
Parenting book series yes please and thank you!!!