“Instagram Face,” which was merely a concept just a few years ago, has now become a reality. Walk through any grocery store or yoga studio in any major city, and most women’s faces are enhanced with fuller lips and foreheads that don’t move. In my community in California, most of my friends in their 30s and 40s don’t think twice about their recurring appointment for injections. 25 year olds are sold on “Baby Botox.” The affordability of these beauty procedures is an immense privilege, however in this new anti-aging culture, many consider these luxuries to be a fixed cost in order to fit into today’s standards. Consumerism for attaining youth doesn’t feel like consumerism, it feels like survival. Nonetheless, as daughters who intimately know the impacts of toxic diet culture and “Almond Moms,” we need to consider how our actions, words, and thoughts as mothers impact how future women will feel about their bodies (and skin). Not only are “Serum Moms” not allowing our daughters to age, we are not allowing them to be young.
Your girl got published in the New York Times!! Still doesn’t feel quite real. For the full piece — “Toxic Beauty Standards Can Be Passed Down”— click here. And it would mean the world to me if you read it (and shared it). The topic is about how the anti-aging craze is diet culture in a different font, and I ask mothers (and women) to consider our moral obligation towards girls and young women. We didn’t create this toxic culture, but with the rise of “Sephora Kids” (I explain the term in the NYT piece), we have to ask ourselves how we participate and what message this sends to young girls. Up above was a paragraph that was cut from the original draft I wrote, and wanted to share with you, my readers.
Ps if you’re interested in the backstory about how this all went down, let me know in the comments!
“Mothers are both victims and perpetrators of a culture that sells women the lie that we aren’t enough exactly as we are. And yet, if a mother’s insecurity can fuel her daughter’s own self-loathing, a mother’s radical self-love might just protect and even heal her daughter from a toxic culture.” - Alexandra D’amour
My main intention with this specific piece was to start a conversation about it. So, let’s chat! I’ve left the comment section open because I received the most amazing and insightful DMs surrounding this topic. One comment read: “My 10 year old recently asked me to go to Sephora and I had no idea why until I read this piece.” Another follower, a make-up artist in the fashion industry, shared their experiences working with 18-year-old models whose faces don’t move. And one aunt said this piece made her consider how she presents herself (and her beauty) to her tween nieces. It’s not just a conversation about mothers; it’s about what all women are mirroring towards young girls.
When I was 26ish I asked my facialist about Botox since all my friends were getting it - she said that it’s a way for derms to get more $$ from people by framing it as preventative.
Then she told me she never wanted to get it bc her dad died recently and her laugh and frown lines were just like her dads and she didn’t want to erase those.
Now I’m 33 with my own daughter - as we both age, I want her to see my and her dads face in hers. To savor that similarity, and to remind her that aging is a privilege, not something to be erased.
I love this topic. I got Botox a few times a decade ago and won’t ever again. My old nanny that raised me suggested I do it.. wtf.. and I remember going to a dr office 4 years ago for a car accident and the drop in doc said I should get Botox. I’m 40 next month and not aging gracefully = having a wild toddler aged me and I have 11’s and lots of forehead wrinkles. While I’m not going to do anything toxic or wear heavy makeup, I do feel old. Hello stress and crappy sleep. I hope I’m modelling natural beauty for all the little kiddos. Love the convo and feel terrible for all the young girls out there.