Mar 5·edited Mar 5Liked by Alexandra D'amour, Maggie Trela
Reading this, my eyes filled up with tears of rage. You were able to completely decode what I’ve been feeling since having my daughter back in 2021. It’s quite the topic in my therapy sessions, but I’ve never been able to fully articulate it all.
Being her mother is my greatest gift. She is the most beautiful, powerful human I know and has taught me so much. But, I know that the things she’s taught me will not fit into the walls of today’s society and her power will be hushed as she gets older. That’s all by design.
Knowing that it’s out of my control hurts me to my core, and it’s one of the reasons–though I’d like not to admit it–that my partner and I have decided to not have another.
The mother in me would love to mother another…but with the constraints and the hardships of the patriarchy, I just can’t fathom it.
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PS- Congrats on the NYT article! I have been following you for a while and have always turned to your writing as a form of comfort knowing that I’m not the only one feeling ALL the feels. Your writing has given me so much clarity and hope and I’m so happy many more will be touched by knowledge.
Not a mother yet but holy shit! I’ve thought about some of the points you touched on but I’ve never connected it altogether. That shit is bleak! But also kind of freeing to know that it is a system, and it’s not us individually going nuts or expecting too much.
You hit the nail on the head with the fathers thing — and I wonder if there will ever be a truly equal partnership, where the mother or woman doesn’t automatically keep track of a million things and constantly juggling.
Thank you for sharing with us, Alex! I’m so glad you’re back 💘
WOW! Definitely a lot to unpack while reading it, but you hit so many points that you said so perfectly. Sometimes I try to remind myself how powerful, but then I see something in society that makes me compare myself. or think about all the things I lack. But I had a daughter and although its scary raising her in this world, it is truly a blessing because she has a fighter spirit. And I want to ignite and keep that flame burning bright in her. and when I see the good I do in her, and how strong she is (even for a 4 year old), I'm reminded through her eyes-- how strong I am too!. Us moms are so wonderful, thank you again for this.
Reading this, my eyes filled up with tears of rage. You were able to completely decode what I’ve been feeling since having my daughter back in 2021. It’s quite the topic in my therapy sessions, but I’ve never been able to fully articulate it all.
Being her mother is my greatest gift. She is the most beautiful, powerful human I know and has taught me so much. But, I know that the things she’s taught me will not fit into the walls of today’s society and her power will be hushed as she gets older. That’s all by design.
Knowing that it’s out of my control hurts me to my core, and it’s one of the reasons–though I’d like not to admit it–that my partner and I have decided to not have another.
The mother in me would love to mother another…but with the constraints and the hardships of the patriarchy, I just can’t fathom it.
----
PS- Congrats on the NYT article! I have been following you for a while and have always turned to your writing as a form of comfort knowing that I’m not the only one feeling ALL the feels. Your writing has given me so much clarity and hope and I’m so happy many more will be touched by knowledge.
Not a mother yet but holy shit! I’ve thought about some of the points you touched on but I’ve never connected it altogether. That shit is bleak! But also kind of freeing to know that it is a system, and it’s not us individually going nuts or expecting too much.
You hit the nail on the head with the fathers thing — and I wonder if there will ever be a truly equal partnership, where the mother or woman doesn’t automatically keep track of a million things and constantly juggling.
Thank you for sharing with us, Alex! I’m so glad you’re back 💘
WOW! Definitely a lot to unpack while reading it, but you hit so many points that you said so perfectly. Sometimes I try to remind myself how powerful, but then I see something in society that makes me compare myself. or think about all the things I lack. But I had a daughter and although its scary raising her in this world, it is truly a blessing because she has a fighter spirit. And I want to ignite and keep that flame burning bright in her. and when I see the good I do in her, and how strong she is (even for a 4 year old), I'm reminded through her eyes-- how strong I am too!. Us moms are so wonderful, thank you again for this.